Lessons for Life with James Long, Jr.
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join James, a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life's biggest questions and helps us find God's solutions to life's struggles. Learn the power of living by God's grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are on a search for freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
Lessons for Life with James Long, Jr.
Overcoming Anger towards God and Self
Humility, repentance, and faith are our guiding lights as we navigate anger towards God. Drawing inspiration from biblical figures like Habakkuk and David, we emphasize the importance of bringing our questions to God while maintaining trust. Suffering is a universal experience, and by sharing our struggles in prayer, we find hope and endurance. Humbling ourselves allows us to approach God with reverence, trusting His wisdom and timing even in life's most challenging moments. Through continuous repentance and acknowledgment of God's higher ways, we foster a faith that endures.
We also turn our gaze inward, addressing the often-overlooked emotion of self-anger. By examining how unmet expectations lead to self-condemnation, we reveal how these feelings impact self-worth and motivation. We uncover root causes of self-anger, such as an unwillingness to accept God's forgiveness, and offer biblical insights to guide us towards grace and peace. Visit our website for additional resources, and join us in building a supportive community dedicated to overcoming life's challenges. We invite you to share your thoughts, questions, and suggestions as we continue this journey together.
ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
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Hello everyone, it's James Long and welcome back to Our Lunch and Learn. We're looking forward to another session here with you talking about anger. We've been going through this study Uprooting Anger by Dr Robert Jones, and in this series over the last several weeks we've been exploring how the Bible addresses anger from a foundational, heart-focused perspective. We started by defining anger and looking at its place in our lives. We've examined both righteous and sinful anger and how beliefs and desires and expectations shape the way we respond to life's challenges. Hopefully it's been encouraging to you. Hopefully you've been learning more about yourself. And so now today we're going to be moving to our seventh in the lesson, a seventh lesson, and it is lesson seven, and it's dealing with anger against God and against ourselves. So now, as we delve into this topic, we've talked about the fact that anger is a complex emotion, often directed towards something outward, but sometimes we find ourselves directing it towards God or even inwardly, towards ourselves. Our goal today is to explore biblical perspectives on these two forms of anger, examining our heart issues that lie beneath them, and to understand how we could find freedom and restoration in the midst of them. And we'll start by looking at why people feel anger at God and when they experience it usually during times of suffering or injustice and then we'll look at the anger towards oneself, how it forms, why it's problematic and what scripture says about it. As we go through this session today, what I'm encouraging you to think about are times when you might have felt disappointed or frustrated with God, or times when you turned your anger inward. Listen to the lesson and let's look for opportunities to uncover it and to address those feelings in a way that are going to honor God. Let's pray here. Father, I thank you for all that you are and all that you do. We thank you for teaching us through this study, for the work that you've been doing in our lives, mold us and shape us and change us into the image of your son. Help us to reflect you. I pray today that you would help us to see that you are a loving, gracious and kind God. Help us to see the beauty of your gospel grace and help us to see that anger towards you and anger towards ourselves will never provide the freedom that only Christ can. In Jesus' name, we pray Amen, okay, so now I want to talk a little bit about this definition.
Speaker 1:Now, if you remember, from week one, we had talked about this definition. Let me see if I can pop it up here for you. Anger is our whole person, active response of a negative moral judgment against perceived evil. Now, if you look at each piece of that definition whole person it's all of who you are. It's an active response, it's not passive. It's a negative moral judgment. You're making a judgment and it's against a perception of evil. Now, if you remember, we had talked about the fact that sometimes the perception of evil is not accurate because sometimes our perceptions are really off course. Now let's take that definition and let's look at our anger towards God. So we need that definition as a backdrop.
Speaker 1:Now we've talked about the fact that it's a negative moral judgment against a perceived evil. It's an emotion that encompasses our thoughts, our feelings and even our actions, and when we respond to it, we view something as wrong or unjust. Now here's the issue. When we apply this definition to our anger towards God, we're essentially saying that in our perception, god has done something morally wrong or unjust. This feeling may be unsettling, but the important thing is to acknowledge that if we have this perception, there's something deeper, underneath the surface. We're struggling with our trust in God's character and trust in God's actions. By feeling anger towards God, we are, in effect, saying and accusing him of doing something wrong or evil. This challenges us to examine our beliefs and our expectations of God, especially when things in our life don't go the way we had hoped or the way we expected. Are we holding on to ideas of how God should have acted, and when he doesn't meet those expectations, are we quick to judge his action as unjust? Now we need to take a moment and reflect on our own experiences. Have there been times where we felt angry with God? What was the underlying reason? Often, it's not just the situation. It's our interpretation of God's role in what leads to the anger that we have. Now. Recognizing this is a first step towards healing and a gospel-filled response.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about this definition by K Arthur. K Arthur, biblical Bible's teacher, said this you get angry at God because God did not do what you thought he should do, or the way he should do it, or not do it. Now this observation hits home for many of us. Often, our anger stems from the fact of these unmet expectations, whether it's about timing or method or outcome. I want you to think about a time when you were struggling with this, because each of us carry expectations of God and how he should have acted, based on our desires, understanding or perception of what was best. When reality doesn't line up with those expectations, it's easy to feel a personal level of disappointment, maybe even betrayal. Now, this disappointment often triggers anger as we question why didn't God intervene in the way I wanted him to? Now, as we think about this, insight challenges us to reflect on our own assumptions about God. Do we allow room for his wisdom which surpasses our understanding? Are we holding tight to our own way and our own timelines? When we acknowledge God's ways are not always aligned with ours, we begin to see the need to surrender those expectations and trust his purposes.
Speaker 1:I want you to consider an area in your life where things didn't go as you planned or hoped. Was there a moment of anger or frustration that you directed towards God? Recognizing this is so important, because if you don't recognize this, it can lead to greater anger, but recognizing it can do this. It can give you a deeper level of understanding and it actually could lead to a more resilient type of faith. Now I want you to consider two biblical situations where two of these men were angry with God. First we'll look at Cain and then we'll look at David.
Speaker 1:Now, in Genesis, chapter 4, we see the earliest example of anger directed towards God. It was Cain and his brother, abel had made an offering, but God showed favor to Abel's offering and not to Cain. This ignited anger in Cain's heart. God responded by challenging Cain's anger, warning him that sin was crouching at his door. Cain's anger wasn't just about jealousy towards Abel. It was his frustration at God's judgment. Cain wanted God to accept his offering on his terms, which ultimately led him down a path that was tragic. He took his brother's life and he had to fall under God's judgment. So his anger was not handled in godly ways.
Speaker 1:Then we think about David in 1 Chronicles 13, verses 9-12. We see David's anger after a tragic situation While transporting the Ark of the Covenant, uzzah reached out to steady it, which led to God striking him down. Now David was angry because he felt that it was a harsh judgment and that God's anger was severe. But David's anger stemmed from his perception of what seemed like an excessive response to Uzzah's well-intentioned actions. Now, his reaction, though, reveals what we sometimes place on our own ideas of fairness, above God's standard of holiness.
Speaker 1:Now these stories show us that the anger at God often arises from our clash between our expectations and God's actions. Cain expected God to accept his offering regardless of his heart condition, and David, on the other hand, was upset by the consequence he viewed as unjust. Now, both of these examples challenge us to examine our own expectations of God. Are we willing to trust his wisdom even when his actions don't align with our ideas of fairness and preference? Now I want you to consider is there a time in your life where you felt angry with God, maybe questioning his decision or fairness? Now these biblical examples remind us to bring these feelings to God, seeking to understand his ways rather than holding on to our resentment.
Speaker 1:Let me give you some suggestions of how you could deal with your anger towards God. Here are some solutions that I think are important for us to consider. First thing I want you to see here is humbling ourselves before God. That's the first step in dealing with sinful anger towards God is humility. Anger often resides when we assume that our understanding is superior or that God's actions must align with our desires and our logic. Humbling ourselves means acknowledging that God's ways and His thoughts are higher than ours. It talks about that in Isaiah 55, verses 8-9. It's an invitation to submit to his wisdom and timing, even when it's challenging or unclear.
Speaker 1:The next thing I want you to see is repentance. Repentance is important Now, alongside with humility. We're called to repentance, specifically repenting of our unbelief and rebellion. When we're angry at God, we're often harboring doubts about his goodness or his wisdom or his love. Repentance here means turning away from those doubts and asking God to strengthen our faith. It's a choice to trust in his character rather than relying on our limited perspective. This isn't a one-time decision. I want you to know that it's a continual process. Situations will arise where we will tempt you to question God's actions or timing, but through humility and repentance we cultivate a heart that is in alignment with God's will, and each time we choose to trust him over our emotions, we grow spiritually mature and deepen our relationship with him.
Speaker 1:Now I want you to think about this. I want you to reflect are there areas in your life where you've held on to anger against God, and how my humility and repentance bring us closer to peace and understanding? Now, if anger against God is sin, how do we deal with our doubts and our situations. I want you to consider this. I want you to look at a couple of these passages. See, we need to recognize that questions are normal in suffering times. This is an important piece of the puzzle. As we face trials, it's natural to have questions, especially regarding God's role in our suffering.
Speaker 1:The Bible gives us examples of godly people who brought their honest doubts and questions to God without falling into sin. One of them is Habakkuk. Habakkuk was a prophet, and this prophet was a great example of one who struggled with lament and faith. Now, in Habakkuk, chapter 1, verses 1 through 4, he openly questions God, asking why there is so much injustice and why God seems to be inactive. Now, if you jump down to verses 12, chapter 1, verse 12, and all the way through chapter 2, verse 1, we see Habakkuk wrestling with God's plan. Yet he continues to seek answers from God directly, showing a heart of faith even amidst the confusion. Now, by the end of the book, in Habakkuk, chapter 3, verses 18 through 19, he reaches the point of trust, choosing to rejoice in God despite the circumstances, despite the difficult trials that he was going through.
Speaker 1:We see something similar in Psalm chapter 13, one of my favorites. It's David's lament. Now, in this Psalm, david voices his frustration with God's seeming absence, asking this question how long, o Lord? But he concludes by expressing his trust in God's unfailing love. This shows us that it is possible to bring our questions to God while maintaining respect and trust. Now, these examples teach us that it is acceptable to bring our questions to God in a spirit of lament, as long as we approach Him with faith, not accusation in a spirit of lament, as long as we approach Him with faith, not accusation.
Speaker 1:Lament allows us to voice our struggles without crossing into simple anger. It's about saying God I don't understand, but I still trust you. Now, this trust builds our relationship with Him and helps us to find peace, even amid unanswered questions. Now, as we reflect on these scriptures and others, let us ask ourselves are we bringing our struggles to God in honest lament, or are we allowing them to turn into resentment? How might us, following Habakkuk or David's example, help us approach God during times of hardship?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about some common elements that we do find when we struggle with anger against God. First, suffering, when we see suffering as a shared experience. Every single one of us in this world, in this universe, struggles Now people throughout the Bible struggle. They face challenges, pain, confusion and disappointment. Suffering is not outside of God's plan, and even his closest followers went through times, difficult times, of suffering. This reality will allow us to understand that our struggles are part of his bigger picture.
Speaker 1:The second thing is prayer. In each instance, we notice that the individual brought their concerns directly to God. They didn't pull away from him or turn to other sources. They voiced their questions and their doubts in prayer. Now, this movement towards God rather than away from him is the defining characteristic of faithful lament. Even when they didn't understand, they sought God in their confusion, which is so important.
Speaker 1:Faith is another piece of the puzzle. In their suffering, they held on to the foundational truths about God, his goodness, his sovereignty and His promises. They didn't allow their circumstances to dictate their beliefs about God. Instead, they used their faith as an anchor. Their faith didn't eliminate the struggle, but it gave them a way to endure it with hope. I want you to consider this how might we integrate these elements acknowledging suffering, bringing them to God in prayer and standing firm in faith? How can that help us when we face difficult trials and troubles in life?
Speaker 1:I want you to think about two other things. Humility is also important. A key element in biblical lament is humility, which is how the individual approached God. They didn't come accusing him. They didn't come acting entitled to specific outcomes. Instead, they expressed their concerns with reverence and submission. This humility shows an acknowledgement of God's sovereignty. They understood that, while they could bring their struggles to Him, they ultimately trusted His wisdom and His timing. This is a reminder that we are called to approach God with the same reverence even in our hardest moments.
Speaker 1:And then renewal Through these experiences of suffering and prayerful lament, we see a pattern of renewal. Each person grew spiritually through their trials. Their faith was tested, but it was also deepened, leading them to a closer, more refined relationship with God. This growth didn't erase their pain, but it transformed them and brought them to a new level of trust in God. We too can experience this renewal as we lean into God during difficult times. I want you to reflect as well how might embracing humility and seeking spiritual renewal change the way we respond to our struggles?
Speaker 1:Okay, now we've talked about anger towards God and how we can deal with it, why it happens and how we can deal with it. So let's now go to the topic of anger towards ourselves. I want you to consider these reasons why we get angry at ourselves. I want you to think about this. When we think of anger, it's natural to picture it as something directed outward, towards another person or a specific situation. However, anger can just as powerfully be directed inwardly, aiming at ourselves. Now, many of us have been there in moments where we blame ourselves intensely for perceived failure or mistakes. Now think of a time where you replayed a moment in your mind, berating yourself If only I hadn't missed that shot. I was thinking about that with basketball when I played. Or why did I say that? Maybe you said that? Or I've ruined everything with that one choice.
Speaker 1:Now, these thoughts reveal how often we direct it at our whole person, our active response of a negative moral judgment against who, against ourselves. Now, self-anger, according to that working definition from chapter one, involves a whole being. It's your mind, it's your heart and your will, and it's reacting negatively towards your own actions. We make judgments against ourselves, seeing ourselves as wrong or a failure. It robs us of something valuable. Self-anger isn't just about idle feelings. It's about this whole person response, meaning it engages our mind, it engages our emotion, even our physical energy, and it often results in us being emotionally drained, frustrated or physically tense. Now, I don't know if you feel that way.
Speaker 1:Now, it is important that we take time to perceive the thoughts and the feelings and the beliefs that we struggle with, and when we take what we perceive as a failure and turn it into moral judgments against ourselves, it is as though we are saying I should have done better, I've let myself down. Now, at the core of this, self-anger often stems from a belief that our actions or our inaction has blocked us from some good desire, that our actions or our inaction has blocked us from some good desire, something of like success or approval or peace of mind. Now, this is similar to what Richard Baxter said in our first chapter. You remember he talked about anger as rising up in the heart against an apprehended evil that hinders a desired good. Now, I want you to notice the language. It's a negative, whole person response from the heart.
Speaker 1:Self-anger is a deeper issue than frustration. It involves a moral condemnation where we're not just simply disappointed, we're actually punishing ourselves internally. We might dwell on what we did or did not do, feeling that this was a mistake and it reflects our worth or our competence. Now, this kind of anger typically stems from unmet expectations or standards we set for ourselves, and it often is tied to an ideal of what we think we should have acted in or what we believe we deserve. When reality doesn't line up with those expectations, we turn anger inward as a form of self-blame. Now I want you to take a moment right now. I want you to think of a time where you directed anger towards yourself. What were the expectations or the standards that you were holding on to? How did that self-directed anger affect your sense of worth or motivation? I want you to also consider this. Consider a time that you were angry. What desired good did you feel that your action or inaction hindered? How does that shape your perspective on your mistakes and your failures?
Speaker 1:That the Bible addresses this matter of self-anger. So it addresses it in five specific ways. We're going to try to understand this. Self-anger is an inward direction of frustration and we need to ask ourselves what does the Bible say? Now, unlike outward anger, which we often recognize and address, self-anger can be subtle, often hidden behind shame, regret and guilt. But the Bible gives us insight into why we feel this way and how we are called to respond. Self-anger usually arises from something deeper within our hearts a struggle to accept forgiveness, a failure to see our own sinfulness, an attachment to unmet desires, unrealistic standards that we placed upon ourselves, desires, unrealistic standards that we placed upon ourselves and above God's word. Now, what God's word does is it gives us wisdom for navigating these inner battles, guiding us away from self condemnation and back to his grace. Now let's look at five ways the Bible addresses the root causes of self-anger. Now, each of these point us to help us to identify and to confront the underlying beliefs and expectations that fuel this self-directed anger.
Speaker 1:Now, first is an unwillingness to receive God's forgiveness. This is one of the first reasons people experience self-anger is the inability or unwillingness to accept the forgiveness of God. This can especially be the case when we've sinned or feel deeply remorseful or guilty. Now, while it's natural to feel conviction for wrongdoing, the danger comes when we allow feelings to turn into punishment and we impose anger towards ourselves rather than trusting in God's grace. Now, sometimes we may punish ourselves because, in our disbelief, we don't see God's forgiveness as real or sufficient. We don't see God's forgiveness as real or sufficient. We might think that the sin is too big or too serious to be forgiven, which actually is a reflection of our belief in God's power and His love. We limit it Now. The Bible calls us to receive His grace through repentance, to trust His forgiveness as complete and final, and when we're unwilling to release our guilt, we end up holding onto self-condemnation that only Christ has the authority to remove. Embracing His forgiveness undercuts the power of self-anger and brings peace.
Speaker 1:The second failure to acknowledge our sinful nature. Another reason why we might experience anger is because we don't fully recognize our sinful nature. This is often a matter of pride when we say I can't believe I did that. We're often shocked, not because we understand our fallenness, but because we thought we were better than that. How many times have you thought that? Now, self-anger in this case is really a failure to understand the depth of our own sin? The Bible teaches us the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick, in Jeremiah, chapter 17, verse 9. Now, none of us is immune to the sin's reach. Now, recognizing our capacity to sin doesn't excuse our actions, but it humbles us and keeps us from an unrealistic view of ourselves when we remember that Christ came precisely because our sin nature is so harsh that we don't have the ability to deal with it. And then we're more likely, when we know that, to turn away from sin and self-anger and lean on him for his grace and transformation. That leads to the third regret over lost opportunities.
Speaker 1:Now, self-anger often surfaces when we feel we lost an opportunity or failed to achieve something so great, something that we desired. Now, when I was playing, I could remember playing basketball and I'd miss maybe a crucial free throw and I find myself getting so frustrated. Or I know friends that play the stock market and they regret selling a stock too soon and then all of a sudden they see that stock has taken off. Now these frustrations can become self-directed anger, because we feel ruined and we feel that we've ruined that chance to gain something valuable. Now, in this case, anger comes from an underlying belief that we should control our circumstances and our outcomes. It's rooted in our desire for control of our happiness and success, which can become a form of idolatry. We say that if only I had done this, then things would be different. Now we're placing our trust in our actions rather than in God's sovereign plan, and the solution here is to recognize and to repent of these misplaced desires. By surrendering our outcomes and desires to God, we release the grip of regret and self-anger and we find peace in knowing that God is in control and works all things together for good.
Speaker 1:So I want you to consider a fourth reason. A fourth reason is that sometimes we live under our own standard of righteousness. Now, sometimes anger can stem from us setting our foundation on our righteousness, our law, rather than embracing God's grace. This happens when we adopt a perfectionistic standard or take other people's expectations and make them our own. When we do that, we inevitably fall short of those unrealistic ideals and we get angry at ourselves. Essentially, we're trying to create our own law, a law that we can't keep, and the Bible warns us against this, reminding us that Christ alone is our righteousness. Our task is not to live up to our self-imposed standards, but to live in obedience to God's word and to rely on his grace. When we attempt to earn approval based on our own standards, we end up in a cycle of disappointment and self-condemnation. Recognizing God's standards frees us from this burden and allowing us to live in freedom of His grace.
Speaker 1:The fifth thing I want you to think about is that sometimes we act as our own judge. This is the final way that can manifest self-anger where we set up ourselves as our own judge. This happens when we assume authority to declare ourselves as guilty or unworthy, a role that ultimately belongs to God alone. When we are angry with ourselves, we essentially are saying I'm my own judge, I find myself lacking, but scripture reminds us that God alone is our judge and he has already rendered his verdict in Christ, and if we are in him, we are declared not guilty. We're declared righteous and forgiven and loved. These are powerful truths to remember. We don't have the authority to condemn ourselves, because Christ took that condemnation upon himself and his judgment upon himself on the cross. By surrendering our judgment to God, we can release self-anger and find rest in his mercy.
Speaker 1:I want you to think about these things. First, about God's grace. Now, as we reflect on this journey of self-anger, we arrive at this powerful and comforting truth God's grace is amazing. God's grace is greater than all our struggles. God's grace is vast, it is amazing. God's grace is greater than all our struggles. God's grace is vast, it is amazing. It has magnitude that you can't even imagine. And God's grace is sufficient for every single one of us, no matter what mistakes you've made or regrets that you hold. His grace is vast enough to cover all of your failures.
Speaker 1:God's forgiveness doesn't rely on us achieving perfection, but it is grounded in His perfect and boundless grace. Now, often our anger that we direct at ourselves comes from doubting this sufficiency, feeling as though our sins or errors are too big to be forgiven. But Scripture assures us that God's grace covers all sin. There's nothing beyond His reach. This forgiveness calls us to approach God with a humble and repentant heart when we confess our sins. It's not about self-condemnation. It is about embracing a new pathway and to experience His mercy and to find freedom from our guilt. A repentant heart allows us to release self-anger, aligning us with God's forgiveness rather than holding on to self-judgment.
Speaker 1:Now here are several passages of scripture I want you to think about. In Psalm 103, verse 12, it tells us as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. Now I want you to imagine a time where your sins are removed completely from his sight. He can't see them. In Isaiah 1, verse 18, it says though your sins be like scarlet, they can be as white as snow. Now, this is beautiful imagery, and it shows that no sin is too dark or too stained to be cleansed by God's mercy.
Speaker 1:And then in 1 John 1, verse 9, a verse that many of us know. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. What we find there is, god's faithfulness is unshakable. He's always ready to forgive you, and when he comes to you with his grace, you come to him with humility. He comes to you with his grace. Now I want you to remember God's grace and forgiveness are always available. Let go of your self-anger and let his grace cover you completely.
Speaker 1:Okay, in conclusion, I want you to think about all of what we've talked about today as we wrap up the session. I want you to think about that. Sometimes we have anger towards ourselves and sometimes we have anger towards God, and I want you to remember that our journey with anger is a path of growth, learning and transformation. Whether you're grappling with the painful circumstances or wrestling with regret over your own choices, god offers us grace, forgiveness and renewal over your own choices. God offers us grace, forgiveness and renewal. He invites us to bring these struggles to him with honesty and humility and trust, even when we don't fully understand his purposes.
Speaker 1:Now I want you to consider if you have some more questions, I would love it. If you go to our website, jameslongjrorg that's jameslongjrorg For more resources, you can find biblical insights, practical tools to support you on this journey Head over there. There you'll find articles, videos, courses crafted to help you overcome life's challenges and discover peace and purpose in every season. Now, if you've enjoyed this lesson today, I would love it if you would subscribe to our channel. Feel free to share your comments or questions below and let us know if there are other topics you would like us to consider covering in the future, maybe future videos or courses. We're building a community and your involvement is essential in helping us grow, so please share this channel with your friends and family, anyone who you think might benefit from us and help us reach even more people with this message, who you think might benefit from us and help us reach even more people with this message?
Speaker 1:Now, looking forward to next week, we're going to be into lesson number eight, and in lesson number eight, we'll be looking at helping others deal with anger. We'll explore biblical guidance and supporting friends, family members. We'll be addressing anger in ways that reflect God's wisdom and his love. Join us then to dive into the practical steps and spiritual insights for fostering peace and understanding in our relationships. I want to thank you again for being with us. I look forward to continuing this journey with you. Hope you have a great week. Live by his grace and for his glory, take care everyone.
