Lessons for Life with James Long, Jr.
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join James, a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life's biggest questions and helps us find God's solutions to life's struggles. Learn the power of living by God's grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are on a search for freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
Lessons for Life with James Long, Jr.
Helping Others Overcome Anger: A Compassionate Biblical Approach
Dive deep into the heart of anger management as we discuss the vital role of empathy, understanding, and the sovereignty of God in achieving true satisfaction and peace. Highlighting key scriptures like 1 Corinthians 10:13 and Hebrews 4:16, we reveal how aligning personal desires with God's purpose can lead to lasting change. Discover the importance of scripture and prayer in cultivating a heart that reflects God’s grace. By focusing on both personal and communal growth, we aim to be a source of wisdom and grace for others. Don't forget to visit jameslongjr.org for additional resources to further your journey in managing and supporting others with anger issues.
ABOUT JAMES AND LESSONS FOR LIFE
Are you longing to find answers to the deeper issues of life? Join Dr. James Long, Jr., a pastor, counselor, and university professor with over 30 years of experience. Hear James as he tackles some of life’s biggest questions and helps us find God’s solutions to life’s struggles. Learn the power of living by God’s grace and for His glory. Experience the joy of forgiveness and freedom found in Jesus Christ alone. If you are in search of freedom, you will love being part of this conversation. Subscribe, and enjoy the show!
Links
Website – https://jameslongjr.org/
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/drjameslongjr
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/drjameslongjr/
Apple Podcast – https://jameslongjr.org/applepodcast
Google Podcast – https://jameslongjr.org/googlepodcast
Hey, welcome everyone. I'm so glad that you're here with us as we continue our journey through Uprooting Anger by Robert D Jones. Today we're shifting our focus outward. Up until now, we've been primarily dealing with understanding and addressing our own anger, its roots, its effect and the transformative power of God's grace in managing it. Now we turn our attention to something equally important how can we help others who are struggling with anger? Maybe you're here because you want to help a friend or a family member, or perhaps you're a leader or a counselor who encounters angry individuals.
Speaker 1:This lesson is about equipping ourselves to offer compassionate biblical support to those around us. We'll explore practical steps, key scriptures and approaches for entering into someone's world and understanding their struggles, ultimately pointing them towards the hope and healing found in the person and work of Christ. Let's dive in. There are going to be three steps that we're going to talk about. How can we show compassion, listen deeply and bring the gospel-centered hope into the angriest situations that people deal with in life? As we consider how to support others struggling with anger, the Bible provides us with practical, compassionate three-step approach. These steps are grounded in love, understanding and the transformative power of the gospel.
Speaker 1:Step number one we're called to enter into the person's world. This means taking the time to truly understand their situation, listening for their struggles and building a trusting relationship. By doing so, we reflect Christ's compassion and offer gospel-centered hope. Step number two is also important. We need to help the person root out the sinful behaviors and beliefs and the motives that fuel their anger. Anger stems from misplaced desires or beliefs that need to be surrendered to God. As we come alongside our friend, we guide them in identifying these hard issues and turning to God's grace for healing and transformation. This is a journey that takes humility, it takes patience, it takes reliance on the Holy Spirit. Now, step number three is also important. We help them learn to control their outward expressions of anger and replace them with words and actions that honor God. This step involves practical accountability and encouragement to pursue God's responses. It's about equipping them to make real, lasting changes in how they react to anger triggers and enabling them to reflect Christ in their relationships and their daily interactions. Now, by following these three steps, we offer more than temporary relief from anger. What we actually do is we guide our friends towards a path of deep, lasting peace that comes from their relationship with God and in their lives as he's doing his work in them, and a life that is aligned to his will. Now I want you to consider this. As we enter into the person's world, we want to understand their situations and give gospel hope. This step is about creating a safe, compassionate space for the person to share.
Speaker 1:People often hold on to their anger because they feel misunderstood or unheard. We're asking thoughtful questions and we're thinking about deeply what it is that they're dealing with. When you do that, you better understand what's truly at the root of their anger. We offer helpful tools for gathering approaches. We use a journal, prompt journaling a problem incident. This invites the person to reflect on a specific situation that has triggered their anger, examining not only what happened but also the internal responses. Through this, we can gently help them see the patterns and recognize the underlying thoughts and feelings fueling their anger. Now, scripture supports this, as we talked about in 1 Corinthians 10, verse 13,. We're reminded that God provides that way of escape through every challenge, showing us that hope is available even in the midst of our anger. And as we talked about in Hebrews 4, 16, we're encouraged to draw near to God's throne, and it's at that throne of grace we're going to receive mercy. We're going to find the grace to help us in the time of need when we need it. At that time Now, by entering into their world with compassion and understanding, we lay a foundation for gospel-centered transformation. Now let's look at this journaling prompt. We call it Journaling Problem Incidence in Life. It's a powerful exercise designed to help us dig deeper into the underlying reasons behind anger. This approach encourages self-reflection and spiritual insights by examining specific moments when anger arises.
Speaker 1:Now let's look at the key areas to focus on during this process. First, you need to understand the situation by describing the situation in as much detail as possible. This is so important. What was happening around you? Were there particular words or actions or circumstances that triggered your anger? For example, was it about a stressful conversation or a perceived insult, or was there a situation where you expected something and the expectations weren't met? Getting specific about the situation helps us to bring clarity to what may be already influencing our emotions. That brings us to number two our behavior.
Speaker 1:Next, we reflect on how we responded, outwardly or inwardly. Did you express your anger openly through your words or actions, or did you hold on to it inside, like we've talked about before, perhaps letting it fester quietly and you became resentful. Now this step isn't about judging yourself harshly, but it's about understanding the typical reaction and patterns that you have. By understanding that and by recognizing this, we will respond in a different way. Recognizing how we respond can show us where we might want to make changes internal changes and intentional changes in the future. That brings us to number three your thoughts and actions. Now I want you to consider how you were thinking in that moment. What were the thoughts going through your mind as you felt the anger rise? Were there certain beliefs or assumptions influencing your thoughts? Like I deserve better or they don't respect me? How often are these thoughts revealing underlying beliefs or unmet expectations that fuel our anger? This step allows us to confront those internal drivers directly.
Speaker 1:Step number four we need to get God's answers. What we're doing is inviting God's perspective into the situation. We look at scripture to see what God says about anger, forgiveness, patience or justice. Are there Bible verses or truths that speak to our situation and offering guidance? For example, reflect on passages like Proverbs 15, verse 1, a gentle answer turns away wrath. Can that provide a corrective lens through which we can view this reaction? This step helps us to align our perspective with God's, reminding us that His ways are higher than ours and His grace is available to us even in the most difficult struggles. Now this journal exercise can be done for any incident where anger arises. Over time, it reveals patterns. It will help us to recognize triggers, adjust our thinking and ultimately invite God's peace into areas of frustration. By committing to this process, we're taking intentional steps towards growth and inviting God's transformative power into our lives.
Speaker 1:When we seek to help someone dealing with anger, it's crucial to begin by entering into their world with empathy, understanding and gospel-centered hope. This involves a few key actions to build trust and open the door to meaningful change. The first step is to gather information. You need to take time to truly understand the person and their unique situation. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively and be genuinely curious about what they're going through, understand their background, their challenges and specific triggers for anger. That allows us to see things from their perspective and offer tailored and compassionate support. This process is foundational because it shows the person that we really care and that we're willing to meet them where they are. That moves us to number two continually give hope. Now, alongside gathering information, it is vital to continually offer hope through the gospel. As Christians, we know that no situation is beyond God's ability to redeem, remind that person, that God's grace is sufficient and that through Christ there is always a path for healing, growth and peace. Sometimes an angry person may feel trapped or hopeless, but by sharing the encouragement of Scripture and the gospel, we can help them to see that God truly has a plan for them and offers them a future and a way forward.
Speaker 1:Use helpful Scripture. It's important to anchor your conversation in Scripture. Verses like Ephesians 1-3 reminds us of the spiritual blessings that we have in Christ, or in Colossians 2, verses 3 and 9-10, speaks of Christ as the source of all wisdom and that in Him we are made complete. I love this passage in 2 Peter 1, verse 3, because it reassures us that everything we need for life and godliness is through the knowledge of Christ. When we have these kind of verses in our minds, when we've meditated on these verses and memorized these verses, and we share these verses with others, these verses can serve as a reminder of God's truth, his comfort and promises, offering the person spiritual nourishment and strength for the journey. Now, by entering into the person's world in this way, we're gathering information, we're giving hope and then we're grounding our support in scripture, we can create a safe and trusting environment where God's grace can begin to work in you and in them and transform their hearts and lives.
Speaker 1:In our journey to help others deal with anger, it is essential to recognize that anger often has deep roots. Surface-level approaches won't bring about lasting change. We need to come alongside the person and offer Christ-centered ways to work through their anger. We need to enter into their world. We need to begin by stepping into their experience with empathy and understanding. It's not about judging or fixing them right away. It's about listening and learning and showing that we genuinely care. When we enter into this person's world, we show that we are committed to walking alongside them through their struggles.
Speaker 1:And it's important number two to root out sinful heart beliefs and motives. We help the person look inward and identify underlying beliefs and motives that may be fueling their anger. Often anger arises from deeper issues, such as unmet desires, idols of the heart or a need for control, and by lovingly guiding them to examine those root causes, we are opening the door for genuine self-reflection. It is here that we gently introduce the truth of God's word, which can expose these faulty beliefs and reveal a path of grace and change. Our goal is not simply to suppress the anger, but to help them to embrace God's grace, which will transform their hearts. When we see how God's grace is greater than their frustrations and disappointments, they begin to release anger and experience the freedom and the peace that can only come in the person and work of Christ. And as we walk alongside them in their journey, let's remember that our role is to guide them to God, who redeems and restores. Our role is to guide them to God, who redeems and restores Trust. God is the one who is powerful and he is the one who can work powerfully in their hearts to replace anger with His grace.
Speaker 1:Now, when we look at the reasons behind anger, we often find it rooted in unmet needs or desires that people hold closely in their hearts. Here we have an inventory of personal needs, a list of things that many of us naturally seek after in life. Now let's go through it briefly. There's freedom from intense problems and pressures. Now we all want a life that isn't constantly burdened by challenges and stress. Financial security and possessions, having the resources to use as we see fit. How about respect and recognition? We seek to be appreciated and valued in our circles of life, friendships and close relationships. The connection with others is a deep need that brings a sense of belonging that leads to love and acceptance. As a feeling of love, being loved and accepted by others can significantly impact our well-being.
Speaker 1:Good health and medical care. Health is fundamental in our need. It's a fundamental need for a stable life, opportunities for companionship. The desire to date or to marry reflects a longing for partnership and companionship. Success in work or family or church. Many of us find purpose in achieving goals in those areas. Achieving what we aspire gives us a sense of accomplishment, enjoyment and fun in life. Lastly, everyone seeks joy and moments of lightheartedness. As you look at this list, these needs are common and even healthy in balance.
Speaker 1:The problem arises when they become ultimate needs or idols. When these personal needs are unmet or threatened, anger can surface as a reaction. Our goal is to help others examine those needs, align them with God's purpose and find contentment in Christ, even when life doesn't meet every desire. By understanding these personal needs, we can recognize the root of someone's anger and guide them towards a deeper reliance on God for true satisfaction and peace. As we walk with others through their struggles with anger, it is essential to anchor them in three powerful truths about God. These truths remind us of who he is in the midst of our frustration and pain, and it provides us a foundation for releasing anger in a godly way.
Speaker 1:The first thing we need to know is that God is a righteous judge of our offenders. When we are wronged, we often feel compelled to seek justice or retribution. However, romans 12, verses 14-21, reminds us that God is the ultimate judge and he sees every offense. We can release our desire for revenge, trusting that God will judge justly and make all things right in His perfect timing. The second thing we need to understand about God is that God is a merciful forgiver and a righteous judge of our own sins.
Speaker 1:We all fall short and we're in need of forgiveness ourselves. Remember in Matthew 18, verses 21-35, or in Ephesians, chapter 4, verse 32,. We're reminded that God, in His mercy, forgives our sins and calls us to extend that same mercy to others. Our need for forgiveness softens our heart and allows us to let go of bitterness and to extend grace to those who have wronged us. This is also important. God is a good, loving and sovereign God. I love this passage in Romans 8, verses 28-39. It assures us that God is both sovereign and loving, working all things together for good for those who love Him. He knows our pain, he knows our frustrations, he knows our struggles and in His fatherly love, he is guiding us and shaping us through the most difficult circumstances in life. When we trust in His sovereignty, it helps us to find peace, knowing that he is in control and has our best interest at heart. Now, these truths don't diminish the reality of the pain, but they do provide a framework to handle it biblically. By trusting God's justice, mercy and sovereignty, we can experience freedom from the burdens of anger and find rest in His unchanging character.
Speaker 1:When helping others deal with their anger, there are three vital steps that we can take to provide meaningful support and guidance. Number one is to enter into their world. This is where we show empathy and compassion, stepping into their experiences and trying to understand their feelings and struggles. By genuinely listening, we create a safe space where they feel understood and supported. This openness is essential to building trust and providing a foundation for further guidance. The second thing is to root out sinful heart beliefs and guide them towards God's grace.
Speaker 1:Often, anger stems from deeply rooted beliefs or unmet expectations. By helping them explore these underlying issues, we can point them to God's truth and to His grace. God's word provides wisdom and hope, showing them that they don't have to be bound by anger. Instead, they can experience the freedom that comes from understanding and aligning with God's perspective. Number three help them to understand how to control their sinful expressions and to replace them with godly words and actions. It's so important to equip them with practical ways to manage and transform their anger. This includes replacing harsh words with actions that are reflective of Christ's love and his patience. Now, by applying biblical principles in the moment of frustration, they can cultivate habits that honor God and bring peace into their relationships. These steps remind us that helping others with their anger isn't just about offering advice. It's about coming alongside them on their journey leading them to a closer relationship with Christ and transformative power of His grace. And transformative power of His grace. As we review the practical steps for addressing anger, it is helpful to revisit the strategies we learned in lesson number five. These steps provide a framework for genuinely transforming our reactions and guiding them according to God's will.
Speaker 1:Now, the first one is to repent. This step is so important. We need to repent of evil desires that fuel our anger. This repentance isn't just about feeling sorry. It's about a heartfelt decision to turn away from our sin. Now in repentance, we're inviting God's forgiving grace into our lives and acknowledging that we need his help to overcome these destructive tendencies, that we need his help to overcome these destructive tendencies. The second thing is to own responsibility. We need to take responsibility for recognizing that our anger is our own choice. By identifying these actions as wrong before God and others, we're accepting accountability for our behavior. This honesty is essential in real change, as it helps us move beyond excuses and take proactive steps.
Speaker 1:We need to confess and renounce. Confession involves acknowledging our angry behavior openly before God and, when appropriate, to others. Renouncing it means to commit to leaving these patterns behind us and to pursue godly responses instead. Now, through confession, we're not only clearing our conscience, but we're also inviting accountability and support in our journey towards change. These steps remind us that real transformation requires both a humble heart and a commitment to rely on God's grace. As we practice repentance, responsibility and confession, we grow closer to becoming the people God has created us to be free from the grip of anger and filled with His peace.
Speaker 1:Continuing with practical strategies from lesson number five, we now focus on the internal commitments and practical actions that can help us to leave behind sinful anger and to embrace Christlike responses. You need to believe anew in Christ. This step calls us to anchor our trust in Christ and His gospel promises by reminding ourselves that God's grace is sufficient for us, even with our angriest moments, when we strengthen our resolve to seek Him for help rather than relying on our own strength. Next, we need to commit to concrete steps. We need to commit to concrete steps for change. Transformation requires action. This means making intentional choices to replace our angry behavior with words and actions that reflect Christ's love and self-control. It's about being proactive in seeking godliness in our responses. We've talked about establishing a temptation plan. We all face triggers that can lead us to anger. A temptation plan helps us to identify these triggers and to outline steps that we will take when it arises. Whether it's a quick prayer or a moment of pause or reaching out for support, a temptation plan keeps us prepared to respond wisely.
Speaker 1:Continue to study scripture. This is so important. Lasting change is rooted in God's word. That is crucial. So you need to pray regularly. You need to be regularly in scripture. You need to be seeking biblical resources on relevant topics and growing your understanding and strength. God's word serves as a constant reminder of his truth and a call to holiness. Now, these steps are so important. When we do these steps and as you go through them, we're not only addressing the outward behavior, but we're also cultivating a heart that reflects God's grace and wisdom in the moments of our greatest challenges. Now, let us grow in our commitment to embody God's peace and God's grace in our lives.
Speaker 1:Now, as we conclude our study on helping others deal with their anger, let's remember that growth and transformation are a continuous journey. We're called not only to work through our own struggles with anger, but also be a source of grace and wisdom in the lives of others. The tools and insights that we've discussed are just the beginning. They set us on a path to approach anger with compassion, understanding and with hope found in the person and work of Christ. If you would like to explore this topic further or find additional resources, visit our website, jameslongjrorg. If you would like to explore this topic further or find additional resources, visit our website jameslongjrorg. There you'll discover more insights, articles and courses designed to help you grow in your faith and apply biblical principles to everyday challenges. Together, we're building a community centered on God's truth, and I hope that you'll join us. Thank you for being part of this study. Share any thoughts or questions or topics that you'd like to see us cover in the future sessions, and don't forget to subscribe, leave a comment and invite others who might benefit from these lessons. Let us grow in a community together and continue in this journey towards a life of peace and purpose. Well, thank you for joining us through this Uprooting Anger series. Each week, we've been delving in deeper into understanding anger, its roots and how to deal with it in a biblical way in our lives and helping others. Next week, next Wednesday, on November 20th, lord willing, at 12 pm, we'll conclude our series on lesson number nine why you must deal with your sinful anger Now. This is the final session. We'll conclude our series on lesson number nine why you must deal with your sinful anger Now. This is the final session. We'll be emphasizing on the urgency and the importance of addressing sinful anger in our lives, not just for our own growth, but also for our relationships and our witness as believers. We'll discuss biblical motivations and practical steps for putting off sinful anger and embracing Christ's way of peace and self-control. So mark your calendars and invite others who might benefit from this message. Let's finish strong together and continue to build lives that are rooted in God's truth and love. See you next Wednesday. Let me pray for you as we close. So, father, we thank you for this opportunity that we've had to look at our own anger, but also look at the anger that others may be dealing with. Father, I pray that you would help us to approach them with the love, the patience, the grace, the mercy that you approach us. Help us to be forgiving, as you've been forgiving of us. Help us to point them to your gospel grace found in your son. I pray that your Holy Spirit would transform their hearts, as you transform our hearts, and help us to bring glory, honor and majesty to your name. We praise you and thank you for all that you do. In Jesus name, we pray Amen. Thanks again for being with us. We look forward to seeing you next week. Be blessed, take care.
